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Blog
A journal I keep mainly for myself, as opposed to my LiveJournal, which is for sharing and communicating with friends.
[Wednesday, October 29, 2008] Things I Need to Do...
Play Scrabble, often Go to all my classes Gym, gym, gym Update my blog Post my braces story Clean my bedroom Eat at BJ's at least once a month, don't eat out otherwise Catch up on homework Find a job Save money Pay off debt Get to level 40 on Maple Story Try not to think about Erek
[Friday, January 11, 2008] "Thoughtful, Not Depressed" or "The Demise of a Friendship"
I'm rather thoughtful right now about a number of serious things that have happened to me in a relatively short amount of time. I don't feel that I am depressed by these things because I have experienced depression since arriving in Japan, and this feels quite different from that time.
Basically, one of my really important friendships somehow fell apart suddenly, and I keep thinking of all the ways that it might have been able to stay together. The most blaring factor in our demise seems to be a lack of communication about the problems we were having. I don't want to blame it on him, but at the same time... We got into a huge fight and over the course of the argument, he dumped a lot of surprising complaints on me that he had in regards to my actions.
I was quite shocked by a lot of things he said because the problems were things that apparently had occurred repeatedly over the course of our friendship, problems that could have been prevented had he spoken to me the first time they came up. Or even the second time. Instead, he didn't say anything, and I made the same mistakes over and over... and his anger towards me bottled up. I guess this explains why we've seemed to be doing okay some days before he would suddenly blow up on me for no reason: There have been times when I've thought things were going just fine between us and then he would turn rude or scathing with no explanation.
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